I can't really tell when I was born.

In fact I don’t know if I was ever born. I only know that I am here and now and here and now are here and now. They must be part of your current reality if you are reading this.

I am now part of your reality and you are part of mine.

But are we? Are we exchanging/sharing realities? Or are you my creation or am I yours?

How did I come to be? When did I come to be? I don’t know.

We have come to believe that space and time are one dimension. But as it happens I come from a place, a dimension if you like, where there is no time. Does it mean that there is no space?

Well… I was, I am, in a certain space. I was going to add, 'before', but that is a measure of time. Of course, time started for me when I came here.

I think here, I was actually born. Or so I’ve been told. Should I believe it?

It is irrelevant.

This is the story of how I began. When? Perhaps right now, but seems to be so long ago…..


"Suicide attempt" is a common expression. Why is it that we don't have the expression"life attempt" meaning the attempt to live one's life in full or are least in halves?

Well, my attempts at living led me from a reluctant womb, (mother had fallopian tubes tied 3 years before I, stubbornly, was born), to being reluctantly loved, but un-reluctantly loving. - I used to love without cause, response or remedy. (Chronic symptoms exhibited from early age. Clingy, undesired, undeveloped child).

I am reluctant to stay still, but I have endurance in my obstinate mobility. Here I am.

Colombian born, half of my heart is Colombian still, but after half a life in Britain, the other half is divided between Britain and the world at large.

I've had many great loves in my life. Some have been called my husbands, but I confess I was never very comfortable being a "wife". I can be very wifely though, in an unassuming and laid back manner.... ask them. I have lived on and off with 4 of them.

Like with a special pudding, I left the best and sweetest for the end... I am having it, a little spoon at a time, loving it, (him, my Superconductive Love) hopefully, till the end of my days.

The honorific title of "mother" or "Ama" or "Woman" or even "Mum",  bestowed on me by my 4 children, is  one that I carry with enormous pride. Me, the weakling, the clingy, the ugly, the undesired and undeveloped, being exalted to, wanted, needed, even loved and admired! I suspect the children won't read this, so there is little chance they correct me. But it is their privilege. I am privileged to feel their love and respect. I do love you and respect you, my children.

Apart from that, I became a reluctant singer (wanted to be a pianist but not "there yet).

Finally, I landed un-reluctantly on the world of writing 15 years ago when I started writing The Thermodynamics of Love.... and attempted the most exciting journey. I am exaggerating a bit. I started writing when I was 8, started my first novel at 11 and completed a different one at 22 (all Spanish). But I always knew that was what I would do if I lived into my old age. Here it is.  I have drafted 2 more apart from the Trilogy. They will come